I need to have a nervous breakdown so badly to keep myself as sane as possible and I need it soon, and of course I want to do it with you around. But do you actually care? Those little burst of tears recently are nothing compared to what i know will come soon if I receive more bullshit.

watch me break.

I'm sick and tired of trying to always live up to your expectations. And when I'm not really yours to begin with. And what's life when you're living for someone else? It's my life and that's what I get when I actually fall for the one I should never have fallen for. Wrong timing. Wrong status. Wrong sex.

Music olevels at st nics tmr. I hope I'll see Kimberly there. It'll make shit all the more interesting.

My life has been reduced to this. Authencity. Superficiality. And a fight for social status. It makes me wonder if it's all worth it, if you're worthall my efforts and time and love. But the answer stays, I'm not worthy.

I'm sick of my standard issue smile.

Let Loose

We establish our own boundaries. So why are we pushing the blame onto irrelevent factors. Today when I cried and nearly had a nervous breakdown, many came to try and console me which made me wonder, are they simply going through the motions to fufill their own need to seem to care or maybe they really do actually care. But come to think of it, when the tears dry up, does anyone really fufill what they promised initially when the tears began falling or were they yet another bout of empty meaningless promises just rambled in the spur of the moment to simply stop the flow of water? And this, no one can answer, and all we can do is sit still and wait and see if the world is really so ugly and superficial to my expectations.

Oh and Nicole lim, I found out how to blog thru iPhone alr.

MEN

two days ago i uploaded step up into my phone to ogle at channing tatum (tyler gage). two days leter i realise he's gonna act in dear john (yahlah slow lah) I WANNA WATCH.

TMD.

Suppression

I have so much anger and complaints in me that I've kept in for so long and i have no idea absolutely what to do with it. I feel like starting to rant about the hitler like uniform rules, but im pretty sure everyone has heard my take on them. the problem is i have no idea why im upset now. yes maybe i have an idea like it concerns someone whose name starts with an aphabet c and doesnt reply smses. at least when i smsed k last time, she had the decency to reply. but problem now is, she doesnt reply, and i go to sleep (when i can) irritated and discontented, and i bite my tongue to sleep, yes i hav the weirdest stress relieving habits ever, but as i always say, you're not me. but as i always try to suppress that worry that keeps floating up despite how hard i try to keep it away, it penetrates the walla that ive carefully built up over the years and it puts all my efforts to waste. it makes me question myself if what i have done is even worth it. your insatiable hunger for god know what from me is making me tire of you, and whats up with leaving me all hung up?

i miss you.

xxx

ON A BRIGHTER NOTE:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICOLE HENG HAHAHA

we've rly rly been through alot. girlfriend or not (not hahah) anyway, its been 3 years and it really meant alot to me. the times with mr gab the times where we squirmed our way out of trouble with mrs foo and nair in the old compound, getting to know all the little nook and cranny to hide in, and staying back after school to paint the class with spray which can be seen all the way from the pie and pathetic little drinking sessions.

happy birthday, be merry.

Friends

Four of my favourite wise men once said, 'I get by with a little help from my friends'

My very own cheerleaders.

K says:
NATASHA
MY natasha
[[NICOLE]] says:
MISS YANG
HAHAHA
eh stop it la krystal
you're mine and im yours
no others!
ALGAE says:
WHAT?
VIVIAN?
MINGZHEN?
[[NICOLE]] says:
god knows who!
ALGAE says:
AND WHATS WITH THE IM YOURS?!
[[NICOLE]] says:
HAHAHA
where's everybody?
MOMMYYYY
IT'S OVERRRRRRRRRR!
K says:
hahhahha WHAT?!?!

FUCK

FUCKING BAND AND MY FUCKING RECENT SMS FUCKING RUINED MY ALR FUCKED UP DAY.