I will keep this short. Our anniversary is coming soon. But it may be when everything ends. Your insatiable hunger for more and more is revealing your insecurities. And if you claim I'm enough, what else are you still looking for so hard it causes you immense exhaustion and have not even enough time to spend with me.

This post is talking about three people. 

Shout out your name so it echoes in every room, that's what I'd do. 

xxx

Today was fun it was roses monthly outing heehe!
'hey a big empty space let's run and scream. AHHHHHHH!'
So fun!

I think I'm rly weird in the way tht before I go out everyday that I know will be epic or awesome, I will wear dailies contact lens and when I come back I will take it out, dry it into a perfect hemisphere and put it in a ziplock and label it so when I'm sad I'll look through it again and see what I saw that made me so happy and how every little thing made me giggle and smile so happily. Ok I know annoying ppl will totally start copying me and pass it off as thier ideas BOOYAH ASSHOLES!

Despondent

Despondency. Heartache. I am rather annoyed by the supposed compromise you have made. 'i'll keep this short' oh what dreadful words to hear. It's as if you aren't worth communicating with and as if your intellect are not up to theirs when in fact it's a far cry from theirs in a good way. Oh that reminds me, when once upon a time such words were used upon me for the most impractical reasons. If only I had a dollar everytime I heard that dreadful line. destroy me won't you? With the vindictive rumours you have spun and trapped me upon the web of it woven oh so intricately by you. My heart is in pieces but for all i know, that may be the way it was made. With the caprice of a despotic ruler, you shred me till I'm nothing but just pieces for you to destroy and use mercilessly. Oh how this world is filled with people with venomous thoughts. Oh my wayward girl. 

Happy birthday Natasha Tan Shi Hui(: neatest and awesomest cheer vicecapt evahhhh. <3      

Table Partners

I swear sitting with Desiree and Jocelyn is the most entertaining shit ever. Like eg when Jocelyn grabbed my hand thinking it was cuttle fish. Or when I said 'Eh careful this is my last pack of food later got double math' and then PLOP the pack or seaweed, food or wtv drops to the floor hahahha BEST.

Love.

Thoughts

In fucking tiring constant combat with the recurring memories of before fiesta  making my stomach feel so quesy as bile rises up my throat. With putrid thoughts of you that simply sickens me. Haha. How much things have changed such that you no longer succeed more than just skimming the edges of my mind with your nauseating existance. Such deception of yours which had once upon a time made butterflies flutter in my stomach. Oh you have transformed me, but to obliterate or exterminate all sources of you from my mind indeed inconceivable. Your memories are all but impervious. Oh yes indeed i've gotton through, I just never get over it.   

Boredom

Krystal: Im damn scared of heightsss KNNBBCCB
Nicole: you can trust me, if you're scared you can ask me come belay you.

AWHHHHH

anyway, I'm down to my 4th offence awesome or what? And in damn shag now like a shaggy waggy craggly dunno what.

Everyones blogging about how much they want to get out of cedar. I thought it was only me but obviously not. Is it so hard for cedar to let loose for once and let us enjoy what's left of out secondary school life without ruining as much as they can manage to? I want to talk to the principle so bad and tell her all my reasonings and what I think without having any teachers hindering me on the way. What happened to having a say? Having a life?

In this world filled with insanity coming from every existance, pain, suicide, and blasphemy. It can't help but make me think deep and wonder what's in for us? We suffer from instability, disequilibrium and impermanence. All the same but are they really? Thinking deep never helped me out before. Neither does speaking crypticly. But it doesn't maintain that level of consistancy which relaxes me no matter what simply knowing feeling and tasting whts familiar. And when the only thing that keeps you sane starts going away, and you know it, you realise you can't stop it from leaaving. And you realise..nothing. And while being filled, you will never ever find satisfaction and feel only emptier than ever. And when you end up prevaricating all in the name of supposed greater good, revelation dawns, you've fallen too deep to go back. In crosswords, the fun part is that you realise you knew something you never did know and yea you do run into some shit you think you'll never ever solve in this lifetime but If you stil with it, you'll figure it out, eventually I guess. Words like cursewords are never found in crosswords. Neither are words like go, or any other two letter words. Now the word vamoose, that's fun.

You want me to be honest? You go first.