cant pull through

i keep thinking of how stupid i've been to even listen.
to even believe.
to even want to believe.
i should let go.
release the strain of holding on.

i dont even know how i begin to move on.
how i cope.
how i live.
maybe, just maybe,
i shouldn't.
and worse,
no one appreciates it.

the pain is locked away,
i feel sick to the stomach,
some day, i'll puke it all up.
and maybe it'll all go away,
and maybe new ones will form.
i can't manage to pull through.

this, i dont think i can handle.