light up a stick

'you'll get cancer one day, the way you're going'

no point, my dear, no point.

you know, i remember the day i gave you your birthday present. i gave you a pretty sphere box, and i wrapped it up in so much newspaper you thought i actually bought you a basket ball, and when you opened the final layer of the empty box, you turned to me with an amused look that i loved so much.

i still love you. i still miss you. how long do i have to wait?

i remember just when you turned, i gave you a peck on the cheek and went: 'everytime, you open that box, i'll take it that you deserve a kiss. i love you.' -and i did the heart shape sign with my fingers.

how much would i give to see the empty bottom of the white box. i miss you. please please dont keep me waiting so long.

you never knew i buried that heart shaped silver flake we found in sentosa under the layers of tissue. and now you do.

maybe thats why just when i light up every stick i think of you. and maybe the reason im seeing mre and more lighted sticks is because im waiting for you to come ans pull it out from my mouth and smoke it yourself and say you're self sacrificial.

i love you.