Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Belief
I am extremely compelled to voice out my views here. It will be another post of verbal vomit, but ah fuck off. Seriously I don't get why the folks make such a fecking huge deal out of me forgetting something so minute and irrelevant to me. If I don't give a damn, you are encouraged to not to. I don't even believe in what you guys believe in. And the only argument the brother manages to pull out of the magic black hat this occasion, is just 'don't talk nonsense lah'. Honestly, I believe that what it actually is, is a figment of our imagination. Created to have someone rule over us, dominate us, so that we can take control of our lives. Similarly, a dominitrix (I don't know if I spelt it right.) is required for people of low self esteem to allow them to feel in control by being controlled. Hoho, the irony in things like such. It is simply a device required by us humans to heighten and increase our self confidence. Out blind and faithful obedience is what offends me so. What most do not comprehend is the fact that even a simple creation of the mind, complete reliance. In short, I DO NOT believe. Neither do I believe in miracles. But it's simply my opinion. Please disregard it if it offends you. But no seriously, if you hate it so much, simply do not proceed from the 'fuck off' portion of my post. Contrary to what your current thoughts may be, this isn't blasphemy. It is anger. Phrased in the simplest of words ever, exhausting all of me. It's simply emotions channelled through the simple medium of understating words.
And number one, I can't believe I really meant that little to you.
And number one, I can't believe I really meant that little to you.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
DREAMMMMMM
Ok I had the most bizarre dream ever. (no, zheru, it's not another Indian dream) it was about me and this pair of siblings, and we went out on a photohoot or something and then the thing was, technology was so advnced that we do not use cameras anymore but we depend on luck to have like the nicest photo imprinted on our bodies. And like the sister was a damn pretty person and the brother was mad hot (ok fine, he looked like Kevin) and then I had the nicest photo of dunno what a lavendar field on me and the sister saw it and suggested playing this stupid game which made me fall down and she accidentally stepped on the nice photo on me and had a fucking huge blue black on it which totally ruined it. And then the brother, being totally nice and hot and everything helped me up and carried me to my room (I had somehow developed a limp too) and then we started talking then dunno how he started suspecting that his sister did it deliberately and hahahha I don't remember oh yah wait he went to confront his sis and made her apologize and then ME AND HIM GOT MARRIED. ok fine this is not really that bizarre but it's nice finally to have a dream where I have like fucking good endings to my love life. It's gonna bug me like the dream of me and the paikia Jon and me and Alonso planting cabbages (don't ask).
'What's that thing called when a guy is gay for a girl?'
'Straight?!?'
HAHAHAHAHAH.
Today Kevin came(: he looked cuter than ever. And Celine Foo AGREES THT HE IS HANDSOMEYAY!!!
Happy birthday simin(: I'm not gonna bother typing out your full name here. Heeeheeheehh!
Simin: Oh I can play the song -insert random song name-
-starts playing-
No lah actually till chorus only lah
-continues-
Ok only one verse
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH.
'What's that thing called when a guy is gay for a girl?'
'Straight?!?'
HAHAHAHAHAH.
Today Kevin came(: he looked cuter than ever. And Celine Foo AGREES THT HE IS HANDSOMEYAY!!!
Happy birthday simin(: I'm not gonna bother typing out your full name here. Heeeheeheehh!
Simin: Oh I can play the song -insert random song name-
-starts playing-
No lah actually till chorus only lah
-continues-
Ok only one verse
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Ok Jo was so nice today I shall blog about her. She couldn't meet me
after speech day. Which was quite a relief as I looked horrible in that monkey suit (band uniform). Wah I swear I almost died of shame. And laughter too when I saw mdm T in make up HAHAHA OMG blue eyeshadow to match her dress and FAKE EYELASHES. she looked like a friking tranny. Ahhh cheap thrill. Anyway so Jo said her present couldn't be kept until tomorrow so she asked for my
address and came allthe way to my house to pass me ok. THAT WAS THE NICEST THING SOMEONE HAS EVER DONE FOR ME
I SWEAR. and she came with like six red and white helium balloons and one penguin head. Which I realised quite a long Ike later actually has a body. HAHA. I love helium balloons ok. Cuz I always want to suck the helium but somehow I never get to. The last time someone gave me a helium balloon as a bday present was last year. From erm well, yeah nicolenotthecousinnicole. Ugh. Ok this is my pathetic attempt at a happy post. And penguinenobody (no body) is now on the floor hahahha. Oops.
#1 When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.
#2 When she misses you, she’s hurting inside.
#3 When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers.
#4 When she walks away from you mad, follow her.
#5 When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.
#6 When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don’t let her go.
#7 When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.
#8 When she ignores you, give her your attention.
#9 When she pulls away, pull her back.
#10 When you see her at her worst, tell her she’s beautiful.
#11 When you see her crying, just hold her and don’t say a word.
#12 When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.
#13 When she’s scared, protect her.
#14 When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.
#15 When she steals your favourite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.
#16 When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.
#17 When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.
#18 When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.
#19 When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.
#20 When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.
#21 When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.
#22 When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.
#23 When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.
#24 Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.
#25 Don’t let her have the last word.
#26 Don’t call her hot, but gorgeous or beautiful is so much better.
#27 Say you love her more than she could ever love you.
#28 Argue that she is the best girl ever.
#29 When she’s mad, hug her tight and don’t let go.
#30 When she says she’s OK, don’t believe it, talk to her about it, because 10 yrs later she’ll still remember it.
#31 Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.
#32 Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.
#33 Treat her like she’s all that matters to you.
#34 Don’t ignore her when she’s out with you and your friends.
#35 Stay up all night with her when she’s sick.
#36 Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.
#37 Let her into your world.
#38 Let her wear your clothes.
#39 When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her
#40 Let her know she’s important.
#41 Kiss her in the pouring rain.
#42 When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; “Who’s ass am I kicking today baby?”
#43 After she reads this, she hopes one day you’d read it too.
after speech day. Which was quite a relief as I looked horrible in that monkey suit (band uniform). Wah I swear I almost died of shame. And laughter too when I saw mdm T in make up HAHAHA OMG blue eyeshadow to match her dress and FAKE EYELASHES. she looked like a friking tranny. Ahhh cheap thrill. Anyway so Jo said her present couldn't be kept until tomorrow so she asked for my
address and came allthe way to my house to pass me ok. THAT WAS THE NICEST THING SOMEONE HAS EVER DONE FOR ME
I SWEAR. and she came with like six red and white helium balloons and one penguin head. Which I realised quite a long Ike later actually has a body. HAHA. I love helium balloons ok. Cuz I always want to suck the helium but somehow I never get to. The last time someone gave me a helium balloon as a bday present was last year. From erm well, yeah nicolenotthecousinnicole. Ugh. Ok this is my pathetic attempt at a happy post. And penguinenobody (no body) is now on the floor hahahha. Oops.
#1 When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.
#2 When she misses you, she’s hurting inside.
#3 When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers.
#4 When she walks away from you mad, follow her.
#5 When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.
#6 When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don’t let her go.
#7 When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.
#8 When she ignores you, give her your attention.
#9 When she pulls away, pull her back.
#10 When you see her at her worst, tell her she’s beautiful.
#11 When you see her crying, just hold her and don’t say a word.
#12 When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.
#13 When she’s scared, protect her.
#14 When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.
#15 When she steals your favourite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.
#16 When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.
#17 When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.
#18 When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.
#19 When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.
#20 When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.
#21 When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.
#22 When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.
#23 When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.
#24 Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.
#25 Don’t let her have the last word.
#26 Don’t call her hot, but gorgeous or beautiful is so much better.
#27 Say you love her more than she could ever love you.
#28 Argue that she is the best girl ever.
#29 When she’s mad, hug her tight and don’t let go.
#30 When she says she’s OK, don’t believe it, talk to her about it, because 10 yrs later she’ll still remember it.
#31 Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.
#32 Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.
#33 Treat her like she’s all that matters to you.
#34 Don’t ignore her when she’s out with you and your friends.
#35 Stay up all night with her when she’s sick.
#36 Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.
#37 Let her into your world.
#38 Let her wear your clothes.
#39 When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her
#40 Let her know she’s important.
#41 Kiss her in the pouring rain.
#42 When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; “Who’s ass am I kicking today baby?”
#43 After she reads this, she hopes one day you’d read it too.
Friday, April 9, 2010
10th april
Do you even remember what day today is? Seeing you only breaks my heart again. And honestly, if you don't love me anymore why can't you just tell it to me so I can give up hope once and for all? I'm so sick and tired of the scheming the hiding and the hurting. I've stopped the scheming a long time ago. But still, things never ever turn out right for me.
I've just took the extra strong cider in the fridge that was left open by bro, and I feel a little dizzy. But I like it. I'm gonna finish it soon. And the bottles so pretty! Ok actually it looks the same as any other bottle but I like glass stuff. And I have a weakness for bubbly yellow liquids inside (no, not pee). Ok I shall go finish it after I bathe. And Karl, if you want me to stop drinking your stuff, don't leave it open in the fridge. Oh and it was me who finished your barcadi that day. Sorry.
And I WILL learn alligater crawl and allegro con brio by the end of this year. ( I didn't say perfect it) but I will make myself play through it. I WILL I WILL I WILL. I will. Maybe. Okok maybe only allegro con brio. Alligator crawl is too fast and scary. BUT I WILL MASTER ALLEGRO CON BRIO. I swear I will.
I've just took the extra strong cider in the fridge that was left open by bro, and I feel a little dizzy. But I like it. I'm gonna finish it soon. And the bottles so pretty! Ok actually it looks the same as any other bottle but I like glass stuff. And I have a weakness for bubbly yellow liquids inside (no, not pee). Ok I shall go finish it after I bathe. And Karl, if you want me to stop drinking your stuff, don't leave it open in the fridge. Oh and it was me who finished your barcadi that day. Sorry.
And I WILL learn alligater crawl and allegro con brio by the end of this year. ( I didn't say perfect it) but I will make myself play through it. I WILL I WILL I WILL. I will. Maybe. Okok maybe only allegro con brio. Alligator crawl is too fast and scary. BUT I WILL MASTER ALLEGRO CON BRIO. I swear I will.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
New, all or nothing.
Zheru I broke the leg off our couple necklace. Too bad, creepy African man. Don't like him pls he gave Zheru a name but not me.
Ok starting anew I shall blog happy posts(:
3 more days though I don't know if you still remember. But I do.
I know when he's been on your mind
That distant look is in your eyes
I thought with time you'd realize it's over, over
It's not the way I choose to live
And somethin' somewhere's gotta give
A share in this relationship gets older, older
You know I'd fight for you but
How could I fight someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you now
I want the best of you, I don't care if that's not fair
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all?
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call?
You leave me here with nothing at all
There are time it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart but I don't show it, show it
Then there's times you look at me
As though I'm all that you could see
Those times I don't belive it's right I know it, know it
Don't make me promises baby
You never did know how to keep them well
I've had the rest of you now
I want the best of you it's time to show and tell
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all?
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call?
You leave me here with nothing
Cause you and I
Could lose it all if you've got no more room
Nowhere inside for me in your life
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
It's now or never
Is it all?
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all?
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call?
You leave me here with nothing at all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all?
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call?
You leave me here with nothing at all
Ok starting anew I shall blog happy posts(:
3 more days though I don't know if you still remember. But I do.
I know when he's been on your mind
That distant look is in your eyes
I thought with time you'd realize it's over, over
It's not the way I choose to live
And somethin' somewhere's gotta give
A share in this relationship gets older, older
You know I'd fight for you but
How could I fight someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you now
I want the best of you, I don't care if that's not fair
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all?
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call?
You leave me here with nothing at all
There are time it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart but I don't show it, show it
Then there's times you look at me
As though I'm all that you could see
Those times I don't belive it's right I know it, know it
Don't make me promises baby
You never did know how to keep them well
I've had the rest of you now
I want the best of you it's time to show and tell
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all?
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call?
You leave me here with nothing
Cause you and I
Could lose it all if you've got no more room
Nowhere inside for me in your life
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
It's now or never
Is it all?
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all?
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call?
You leave me here with nothing at all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all?
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call?
You leave me here with nothing at all
Monday, April 5, 2010
Birthday Girl
I really do not want tomorrow to come. It's these two hours which suck most. I do not want to know who WOULDNT be the first to wish me on the dot of 12am. It always made me feel good having this one person I knew would wish me happy birthday at 12 exactly. Kinda made me feel like cinderella and that the SMS is the one that that made me so happy I would glow and turn into the princess that I always wanted to be. But ah, I'm quite sure that no one will wish me on the dot. Maybe you will wish me, but not exactly the spilt second it turns tuesday, 6th April.
Ah, I have no Idea what I'm gonna wish for tomorrow. Maybe just for the dream of being happy. That has everything pooled together. Tomorrow I will be lonely girl. Tomorrow I will have band. Tomorrow I will have tears of joy or sadness, I don't know. Tomorrow I will have 2.4, I'm aiming for 14, which I know kinda sucks but wtv, im a fat pig, and I'm not nicole lim Xuan that sits at a bus stop during 2.4 and take half an hour to finish it. Tomorrow is my
motherfucking birthday.
P.s. Zheru, Nat, Desiree and Jocelyn. Please tell me the cake you guys are talking about blatantly on each others facebook walls isn't mine. I AM FACEBOOK ALIVE TOO, MIND YOU. hahah you guys suck. But I love you awh. With friends like these, who needs girlfriends that actually care?
Ah, I have no Idea what I'm gonna wish for tomorrow. Maybe just for the dream of being happy. That has everything pooled together. Tomorrow I will be lonely girl. Tomorrow I will have band. Tomorrow I will have tears of joy or sadness, I don't know. Tomorrow I will have 2.4, I'm aiming for 14, which I know kinda sucks but wtv, im a fat pig, and I'm not nicole lim Xuan that sits at a bus stop during 2.4 and take half an hour to finish it. Tomorrow is my
motherfucking birthday.
P.s. Zheru, Nat, Desiree and Jocelyn. Please tell me the cake you guys are talking about blatantly on each others facebook walls isn't mine. I AM FACEBOOK ALIVE TOO, MIND YOU. hahah you guys suck. But I love you awh. With friends like these, who needs girlfriends that actually care?
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